News
Alert!
With Halloween
approaching, tales of the strange and unusual are upon us. But few may be
aware of the seasonal bizarre stories which happen to also be true. I'm
not talking about the old razor blade in an apple or being pushed off the train
tracks by some mysterious force, kind of stuff. I'm speaking of the
newest designer drug: "Transylvanian Hashish". The rapidly
growing popularity of this illicit narcotic comes in many forms and is
considered the "Original Vampire" of hashish (hashish being the resin
taken from the flowering female cannabis plant). Also known as:
"Monster Hash", "Hash 'n Taters", "Hangin Hash",
"Van Helsing's Belt", "Wolfe Weed",
"Frankenstoke", "Mina-Mush", "Harry-Hash",
"Pagan Puff", "Bite-Bite", "Coffin Cud",
"Brams-Toker", "Bride's Bud", "Frau Blucher
Blow", "Lady Lucy", and "T" (when it's laced with
cough medicine), Transylvanian hash is a very potent drug in any form and
highly addictive (with most users becoming hooked even before their first
time).
Also the most expensive drug in the history of drug trafficking, Transylvanian Hashish is typically cut with goat droppings (to enhance the smell and taste) and is an extremely sought after euphoric high - demand for which, has spread throughout the world. The forms of ingesting this drug are typical for other forms of hashish (smoking, drinking, or eating, etc...), but the resulting hallucinogenic high that results from these particular Transylvanian plants goes far beyond the harmless, humorous munchies of simple potheads or wastoids. The extreme need to feed on junk food seems to become intertwined in the hallucinations themselves. A hapless convenience store or fast food chain worker could find themselves a participant in an elaborate storyline wrought from the imagination of someone on Frankenstoke. Last week in Watcheetum, Georgia it took three sheriff's deputies to subdue a man who was high on "T". With candy corns affixed to his incisors, the man took a female checker hostage at the local Piggly Wiggly and attempted to barricade himself behind a fortress of frozen pizzas. The deputies also pulled a half-dazed female Sonic restaurant employee from the trunk of the man's car where she lay among several hundred "Grab-Bags" of Doritos and a Slurpee machine taken from the Texaco Stop n' Pack up the street. And while no one was seriously injured this time, the dangers simply cannot be dismissed. So, this Halloween season, we encourage people to remain extra vigilant and stay on the lookout for Transylvanian Hashish.
With the intrigue of the name "Transylvanian Hashish" and its obvious horror film implications, peddlers and pushers have developed street lingo to entice would-be users to the drug. If someone asks you to do any of the following, then he/she may be trying to sell you Transylvanian Hash:
"Freak the Frau"
"Get Batty"
"Flee the flames"
"Smoke a blunt with a blind monk"
"Shave a back"
"Take a ride to the top of the tower"
"Ride the lightning"
"Drool like Drakule"
"Suck a peasant"
"Get off at the next stop"
"Shoot silver"
"Rest in Peace" or "RIP it"
"Send for the Professor"
"Tour the mansion"
"Grab a bite"
"Cuddle with the Count"
"Cook the Castle"
"Get in the Van"
"Ride with Helsing"
"Dangle the Doc"
Also the most expensive drug in the history of drug trafficking, Transylvanian Hashish is typically cut with goat droppings (to enhance the smell and taste) and is an extremely sought after euphoric high - demand for which, has spread throughout the world. The forms of ingesting this drug are typical for other forms of hashish (smoking, drinking, or eating, etc...), but the resulting hallucinogenic high that results from these particular Transylvanian plants goes far beyond the harmless, humorous munchies of simple potheads or wastoids. The extreme need to feed on junk food seems to become intertwined in the hallucinations themselves. A hapless convenience store or fast food chain worker could find themselves a participant in an elaborate storyline wrought from the imagination of someone on Frankenstoke. Last week in Watcheetum, Georgia it took three sheriff's deputies to subdue a man who was high on "T". With candy corns affixed to his incisors, the man took a female checker hostage at the local Piggly Wiggly and attempted to barricade himself behind a fortress of frozen pizzas. The deputies also pulled a half-dazed female Sonic restaurant employee from the trunk of the man's car where she lay among several hundred "Grab-Bags" of Doritos and a Slurpee machine taken from the Texaco Stop n' Pack up the street. And while no one was seriously injured this time, the dangers simply cannot be dismissed. So, this Halloween season, we encourage people to remain extra vigilant and stay on the lookout for Transylvanian Hashish.
With the intrigue of the name "Transylvanian Hashish" and its obvious horror film implications, peddlers and pushers have developed street lingo to entice would-be users to the drug. If someone asks you to do any of the following, then he/she may be trying to sell you Transylvanian Hash:
"Freak the Frau"
"Get Batty"
"Flee the flames"
"Smoke a blunt with a blind monk"
"Shave a back"
"Take a ride to the top of the tower"
"Ride the lightning"
"Drool like Drakule"
"Suck a peasant"
"Get off at the next stop"
"Shoot silver"
"Rest in Peace" or "RIP it"
"Send for the Professor"
"Tour the mansion"
"Grab a bite"
"Cuddle with the Count"
"Cook the Castle"
"Get in the Van"
"Ride with Helsing"
"Dangle the Doc"
"Cap a
cuspid"
"Lose your head"
"Grab a stake and taters"
"Go to the dogs"
"Sass Satan"
"Bag a fat chick"
"Lose your head"
"Grab a stake and taters"
"Go to the dogs"
"Sass Satan"
"Bag a fat chick"
"Torch the
green guy"
"Go check Lucy"
"Have a nice night"
A list of corporations, organizations, and individuals thought or even known (but unsubstantiated) to have ties with the Transylvanian Hashish trade:
Famous Amos
Breyer's Corporation
Southern Comfort Distilleries
Rigamarole's "Rasta Brownie Half-baked" Convections Co.
The City of Amsterdam
Flagon's Dental and Prostheses of Northern Watcheetum
The Vatican
Wolfgang Puck
Toblerone (a division of Kraft Foods, Inc.)
The Dallas Cowboys Cheerleading Organization
Parker Brothers
The International Olympic Committee
"Go check Lucy"
"Have a nice night"
A list of corporations, organizations, and individuals thought or even known (but unsubstantiated) to have ties with the Transylvanian Hashish trade:
Famous Amos
Breyer's Corporation
Southern Comfort Distilleries
Rigamarole's "Rasta Brownie Half-baked" Convections Co.
The City of Amsterdam
Flagon's Dental and Prostheses of Northern Watcheetum
The Vatican
Wolfgang Puck
Toblerone (a division of Kraft Foods, Inc.)
The Dallas Cowboys Cheerleading Organization
Parker Brothers
The International Olympic Committee
This has been a public service announcement – useless,
though it may have been.
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