Though the origins of the above article are in dispute, it is clear that attitudes have changed since the 1950’s. Below are some suggested adjustments to those attitudes:
1. Acknowledge
concerns for his needs. Wear something naughty to bed… then tell him you
have a headache.
2. Children are little treasures. Try keeping them in a locked chest.
3. Don’t complain if he’s late home for dinner or even if he stays out all night. Count this as minor compared to what he might have gone through that day… or that night while his bed is on fire.
4. He works hard. Give his mind a diversion from work by leaving out secret love letters from the milkman.
5. His money just doesn’t go as far as it used to. Try to purchase store brand items at the grocery store. And tip the bag boy with cheap sexual favors instead of change.
6. Losing that spark? Offer to throw a swapping party under the guise of a neighborhood pot-luck dinner.
7. You work hard in your duties as housewife. It’s never too late to become addicted to prescription painkillers.
8. Make sure you’re primped and refreshed for his arrival. You never know when he may have to pimp you out to cover the money he lost at the track.
9. Your goal: Try to make sure your home is a place of peace, order and tranquility where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit… just before you explain to him that you have the clap.
10. Don’t greet him with complaints and problems. Instead, slowly and quietly work them in over the years until they gradually kill him dead.
11. Let him talk first – remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours. He is sleeping with his secretary after all.
12. Depending on the weather, have a warm or cool drink ready for his arrival. Catering to his comforts allows time for the poisons to dilute.
13. Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house and remove any signs of the struggle from murdering his mother.
14. As a couple, you share things. However, "what’s yours is mine and what’s mine is yours" is neither double indemnity nor an adequate defense in a penis mutilation trial.
2. Children are little treasures. Try keeping them in a locked chest.
3. Don’t complain if he’s late home for dinner or even if he stays out all night. Count this as minor compared to what he might have gone through that day… or that night while his bed is on fire.
4. He works hard. Give his mind a diversion from work by leaving out secret love letters from the milkman.
5. His money just doesn’t go as far as it used to. Try to purchase store brand items at the grocery store. And tip the bag boy with cheap sexual favors instead of change.
6. Losing that spark? Offer to throw a swapping party under the guise of a neighborhood pot-luck dinner.
7. You work hard in your duties as housewife. It’s never too late to become addicted to prescription painkillers.
8. Make sure you’re primped and refreshed for his arrival. You never know when he may have to pimp you out to cover the money he lost at the track.
9. Your goal: Try to make sure your home is a place of peace, order and tranquility where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit… just before you explain to him that you have the clap.
10. Don’t greet him with complaints and problems. Instead, slowly and quietly work them in over the years until they gradually kill him dead.
11. Let him talk first – remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours. He is sleeping with his secretary after all.
12. Depending on the weather, have a warm or cool drink ready for his arrival. Catering to his comforts allows time for the poisons to dilute.
13. Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house and remove any signs of the struggle from murdering his mother.
14. As a couple, you share things. However, "what’s yours is mine and what’s mine is yours" is neither double indemnity nor an adequate defense in a penis mutilation trial.
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